Be constantly aware of the reserves you and your partner have

Every person is like a statue. Every individual was born as an uncarved piece. One is shaped by every experience. Every day, one’s form is shaped into the form of who one wants to be. Paradoxically, one is fortunate not to be what one wants to be. Because this forces one to work on oneself constantly. Losing the reason to live is real suffering. A dream, goal, work, motivation. Desires motivate people. Whenever you tend to become lazy, not living but merely surviving, your partner comes to assist your sculpturing. He does it in two ways. Firstly, by tactfully pointing out the imperfections you still have. Secondly, by supporting you to eliminate those imperfections.
If a partner pretends that you are perfect (which is naturally a lie, because nobody is perfect), he is not the person needed to motivate you. For the same reason, do not treat your partner – in his own interest – as perfect. You would be lying. Nobody is perfect and everybody wants to be better than he is at the present time. But this does not come free of charge. It hurts, it requires work. On the contrary, you will be useful if you eliminate your mental obstacle to express that you are aware of your partner’s imperfections. Do not trivialise them, but at the same time make it clear that you will support him to become better than he is at the present moment. Understandably, you also have to be aware of your own imperfections and equally committed to working on yourself. Do it not only for your partner. Do it for yourself. That is, for both of you. Because as the quality of the partners increases, the relationship grows.
Petr Casanova
There really are 250 Laws of Love.
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