The fastest way to lose your self-worth is to start living according to the ideas or requirements of others. To be managed by them. To submit yourself to them. To stop being yourself. If you indicate that you depend on another person in a relationship, you switch off your added value. Added value is the reason why you yourself enter into a relationship. Because you come to realise that together, two people are more than one, and thanks to the other person, you will have something you do not have by yourself. I have already mentioned yin and yang. To retain your added value for the other person, you have to constantly retain what he does not have without you. This is simple in principle. After all, we are all different. We have different characteristics, knowledge, experience. So it should be in a partner’s interest not to try to imitate, duplicate him, or overlap his abilities. You should bring something unique into the relationship, something entirely your own. Because it is an added value for your partner.
If both partners retain their own identity to a healthy extent, both are incomparably more resistant. They are less dependant on each other, as well as allowing their relationship to flourish. Because if you have one leg and stumble, you are more likely to fall than if you have two legs and one of them stumbles. If your experiences differ from a partner’s concerning your own life, the partnership is more stable. An example: Partner A returns home after a bad day and Partner B is in happy mood after a good day. The sourpuss can then be freed from negations more easily than if both of them shared the same fate to come home either happy or sad. If one wants a partner to become a carbon copy of himself, he is his own worst enemy. Because sooner or later it will seem to him that the other person is useless in the relationship. Such a relationship can turn nasty. It is paradoxical that the person who submitted himself to the partner is indicated as the culprit. Communication worsens unilaterally, because the more dominant partner will think that he is doing everything in the relationship, while the other one is just going along for the ride. He can be so firmly convinced about it that he refuses to discuss anything else. To maintain a certain share of independence and privacy means to be yourself and, thanks to this, also to complete your partner if he coincidentally fails. In other words: you will be a reserve battery for him. That is why the wisest partners are those who allow sufficient freedom to each other in a relationship.