Beware of a partner’s efforts to direct you

The ears interpret such efforts as pleasant music. “How nice of him to want to control me. It’s right, because he knows what’s best for me.” The brain is even happier: “He intends to work on my behalf! So I can rest! I no longer need to think!” The heart cannot believe how stupid the senses can be. Why do you get deluded so easily into thinking that your own efforts will lead nowhere? How can another person know what is best for you? How can he assess your decision in a specific situation, if he is not in your shoes and also has no experience of such a situation? It seems to be another wonder of the world – you do not yet know the right path for yourself and can only discover it by experience, while your partner reputedly knows how to deal with everything. Well, not everything. But he is able to deal with you. Despite being unable to deal with his own life in many cases.
The eyes do not see this. Whenever a partner is too close and comforts you, your vision obscures the overall picture. Like in an art gallery. If one wants to better understand a painting, the brain commands: “Go nearer to see every detail.” But the heart advises you to step back, so that you rather see the whole picture from a greater distance. That is why the heart, when it does not understand something in a relationship, advises you to step back. To calm down. To comprehend all the implications – and the whole.
Petr Casanova
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