Do not continue a relationship in which your partner does not respect mutual differences

It is said that opposites attract. It is even better when opposites complement each other. Like yin and yang. Two signs that are absolutely different and yet form a perfect circle. This is how partners can be different and yet be suited to each other. The entire secret of their mutual tolerance is in their thinking. To please each other, first they must understand that partners cannot be the same. We already said that, in terms of microscopic details, there are no two identical people in the world. They have not existed in the entire human history. More than seven billion people walk the Earth today. Seven billion peculiar individualities. Each person a unique original. That is why we can never come to an unconditional agreement, absolute understanding. We cannot avoid feeling a certain friction between us. After all, we are absolutely different in terms of our past, genes, upbringing, experience. Each of us went a different way in our life until now. We collected different insights, formed different desires as well as conceptions of how to achieve our personal dreams. In a healthy relationship, partners not only can agree, but – much more importantly – disagree – with each other. They are able to become dissonant in terms of opinions, and yet respect each other and cope with the differences. What is then important in the selection of a partner? That you share to the maximum extent life values and objectives. You do not have to profess absolutely to like the same colour, music, fashion style. But you should be willing and able to pull one rope, hold one oar, steer one course in critical moments. In a relationship, it is not possible for one to pedal while the other brakes. Such a tandem bike simply does not work.
So a partner cannot expect you to approve of all his decisions, and he of yours. Both of you will always have your own, different views. What is crucial is to honour the opinion and truth of the other. Voting does not exist in a relationship, it is impossible to outvote a partner. Either partners unanimously agree, or absolutely disagree. Which is good. Partners are forced to seek constructive solutions, work on themselves, advance themselves, and thus the entire relationship. Thanks to this, each partner grows faster in a relationship than in any other area of life. Because he has no choice. He must seek the way ahead. It is his responsibility. And this is the first border over which you should not allow yourself to be manipulated. A partner must respect your difference and personal freedom. He must not intervene in your territory without your permission. Partners are simply like two neighbours whose plots share one fence. When they need to solve something, they always meet at the gate in this fence. Because it is midway for both of them.
Petr Casanova
There really are 250 Laws of Love.
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