Do not continue a relationship with a partner who is unable to mirror
Do you remember what yin and yang look like? These traditional symbols of light and darkness represent two bitten images that precisely fit together to form a circle. Neither of these symbols is perfect. But they are perfect together, because what one lacks, the other provides. In conflict situations, which are inevitable in all relationships, we should behave in the same manner. A model situation: She, accusingly: “You forgot my birthday. I’m hurt and upset.” He, apologetically: “Please forgive me for forgetting your birthday. I understand that you’re upset and hurt. I would feel the same in your place.” Summed up and emphasised – the man’s apology, understanding, compassion. And the same words are said by the two of them, only with contrasting meaning. This is an example of going in the same direction, although it seems that, due to the man’s omission, the pair is walking on a collision course towards each other. But here is the point: if you walk on a collision course towards your partner, sooner or later you’ll clash. If the dispute is accompanied with an apology, understanding and compassion, eventually there is also an embrace. This is how the method of mirroring works. Instead of disintegrating and weakening, it strengthens a relationship. In this case, by acknowledgement of the mistake on his side, and by forgiveness on hers. Note that there are different manifestations of understanding on both sides.
Unfortunately, vampires are unable to mirror. Their negative approach does not lead to the connection, but to the disconnection of partners. Disconnected partners cannot be harmonised. Through mutual affront, they anger each other. In the escalating clash, they argue about trivialities that increasingly divide them, instead of searching for a way of reconnecting. Nevertheless, it can be done so easily, even wordlessly. Merely with a flower. A hug. A smile. Some humour. But most importantly, without undue delay.