It is normal to be appropriately worried

Jealousy is a vice. If you want to get rid of any bad habit, first you must understand it. Cast a light on it. Probe and analyse it. So, what is jealousy? Let’s start at the beginning: You choose someone who suits you in a relationship. He has something which is attractive to you. Sometimes you can define it, sometimes it is indefinable, yet you only feel it. Jealousy poses a natural fear that you may lose the person who finally suits you, and the magnet towards which you are attracted. Just as you worry about a job, house, children. Nevertheless, jealousy is a type of worry which only injures. It steals your self-confidence, leads to irritation and uncertainty. It is a weapon pulled haphazardly from a case, with the gun barrel pointed towards you. Jealousy obscures reason. A jealous person behaves irrationally. He forgets that if he has chosen a beautiful partner, his choice may also be attractive to other people. If she has chosen a rich partner, he is considered rich by other people too. Therefore, any asset which attracts you to a partner can also allure others. This is normal. But the mind of a jealous person is adrift. His imagination begins to work against him. Negatively. There is nothing more that happens. And nothing less.
A negative mind is dangerous in that it is able to create catastrophic visions. The jealous person then lives in a coulisse that is unreal. And he also transposes these images into the real world. Then it happens that, out of his mind, he secretly searches in pockets, mobile phone, e-mails. He does not stop until he finds something suspicious. Do you know which word is the most important in the previous sentence? “Until.” Yes, this process does not end without conviction. Therefore, paradoxically, absolutely faithful partners are exposed to jealousy the longest. Because their blame is never proven. And the word “guiltless” is not in the jealous person’s vocabulary. The jealous person deprives his partner of dignity, not because of what the partner does, but because of his own behaviour. He does not care what he will or will not find. The jealous person invents the missing evidence in vivid colour. Imagination is omnipotent. The less suspicious evidence the jealous person finds, the more nervous and convinced he is of the guilt of his partner. Right now, my partner is not writing to anyone. Right now, she is spending time with me. Right now, she is telling me how much she loves me. Isn’t it fishy?
Petr Casanova
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