Nobody is obliged to love you
It was explained to us in childhood that if we acted to please others, they would like us. And so we learned to pander, fawn and expect bonus points. Somehow, in the effort to adapt to the wishes of others, we forgot what we wished for ourselves. We sold ourselves for fake friendships which were often false and conditional – by not being ourselves. It is good to be kind to others. But it is paramount to be kind to oneself. That is why we should never return love as a merchandise, quid pro quo. Let’s not allow ourselves to be judged through other people’s eyes and to constantly feel inadequate. Let’s choose a partner who can see the value of who we currently are. Who will love us as fallible as we sometimes feel, as unattractive as we sometimes feel, as incomplete as we really are.
Let’s find people who will love us despite everything. And let’s be grateful if they allow us to continue to be ourselves. Because such a relationship is invaluable. A relationship in which one person is not obliged to love the other person. And yet, or perhaps just because of it, there is love.
If you have a problem with self-confidence, don’t worry, you will learn self-confidence.