One who loves, does not hurt a partner

People mistakenly suppose that being kind in a relationship means not leaving. But that is not true. An unfaithful partner hurts the most by staying in the relationship. Then it is the case that your priority is somebody for whom you are just one of the options. Loving often rather means leaving and letting go. Leaving means not hurting a partner, if you sense that you cannot give what he/she needs. Openness is the foundation of a functional relationship. Anybody can undress and have sex. But to sincerely open your heart to someone, show your weaknesses, fears, hopes as well as dreams means really being naked and vulnerable. Understand that people keep changing and developing. Only because your values once intersected with your partner’s does not mean that your paths will keep overlapping in all the changes people go through. This is surely a romantic perception. But sometimes the mutual pathway is unsustainable, even with the best communication and compromise. It would be a beautiful concept if this were not so. But beauty is not always true. Just like truth is not always beautiful.
Remember that it is not only the one you care about who deserves your understanding and love. But especially the one who cares about you. Do not emotionally blackmail an unfaithful partner, do not behave like him. If he has decided on a different path, he has not done anything other than express that he only has one life to live and does not want to live it with you. Do not descend to blackmail, and especially not if there are children involved in the relationship. It is not in the interest of any parent, and even less of a child, to turn a home into a pressure pot. On the contrary, open the valve, let off the steam, and everything bad with it. Yes, rejection in the form of infidelity hurts. Terribly. But it has to be like that. It is the best school for the future. A lesson you will not forget and rejoice over. Because you will start appreciating faithful people even more.
Petr Casanova
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